My first time as a nude model
By Skye Burns
A journey of healing, self acceptance and creativity
I have long been intrigued by nude models. I consider it an astounding act of strength and courage to stand in front of a photographer without any clothing to hide behind. I have often wondered what I would be like to allow myself to be seen in that way. I was abused as a child and throughout my life have struggled with self acceptance. As much as I wanted to create images as an art model, I did not know if I could bring myself to do it.
Even with lovers I often hid my nudity. I was anxious about how I moved and afraid to show my ‘fat’. Over the years, that has changed. Even though I gained more weight, I became more comfortable in my skin. I was no longer as nervous for a lover to see me nude. So after years of thinking about it, I was finally (nervously) ready to give art modeling a try.
Donal, my best friend in Ireland, was happy to help make that happen for me. He has a gift of revealing someone’s beauty and true nature in soft, gentle ways. He was perfect for the job.
On my birthday, we waded thru the soggy pasture land to arrive at the stone circle where I felt inspired to reveal myself. Donal didn’t talk. He understood that this was healing work for me.
We did some initial shots with me in my topless in my jeans. Initially I held in my stomach. I was fearful about what people would think. Slowly my mind relaxed and so did my body, until finally I was completely nude, using only a scarf as a prop. I kissed the stones of Ireland that surrounded and accepted my nakedness. I was no longer nervous. I held my head high as I felt the flow of power and beauty within me.
When I put on my clothes I felt like a fresher version of myself, a more healed version. I thanked the land for supporting my transition and Donal for being a witness with the camera. It was such a liberating and beautiful experience. Although I still have some of my insecurities I feel more freedom around my own nudity. Experiencing these artistic images of my naked body has given me the gift of seeing myself through the eyes of an artist. When I see myself through those eyes, I feel love, admiration and self acceptance. Nude modeling is fun. I look forward to doing it again.
